Friday, January 25, 2008

life

First of all...I love Katie Mohr! She rocks! She wrote about a topic that has been on my heart lately and I'll tell you why...but first...read her post! Click here! I am not really sure where to start or what is going to come out as I sit here typing this so bear with me. I am not an eloquent writer...so I'll do my best to share. As some of you know, Mike and I have been trying to have a baby for the last 4 years. At first, we thought, whenever it happens it will happen.....but, now 4 years later, it still hasn't happened. I have always wanted to be a mom and experience motherhood and I know I will...I just thought it would have happened sooner rather than later. Awhile back we decided to go to the doctor and get checked out to see what the problem could be. I did have some endometriosis and had surgery to get that taken care of, but it still wasn't happening. In the beginning, along the way we never thought to get Mike tested. We just thought it was me....so a couple of months ago, Mike was finally tested and part of our difficulty is him and his boys. The other part could be that I'm allergic to his sperm or any other of the unknown reasons why people are having a hard time conceiving. For now, we are seeing a specialist and are going to be starting artificial insemination this month, or as soon as I ovulate. Of course, this isn't even a guarantee that it will work. The questions that I keep coming back to is WHY? (bear with me as I ramble on...) Why did we wait so long to have Mike tested? Why does it seem that EVERYONE is pregnant right now? I turn around and someone else in our circle is pregnant...and I am so happy for them, but still think WHY can't it be us?! Why are so many couples these days having a hard time conceiving? Why I don't know many of the questions that I keep coming to, but I do know that everything happens for a reason and that God does have a plan for us. I don't like being labeled as infertile...and when people ask about us and kids and if we are trying I want to yell at them and say YES we've been trying for 4 freakin' years. I know their are other couples who have been trying longer and I am so envious at their strength and gratitude for the things that are happening in their lives. I am so grateful for the friends (and blog friends) that are in my life. I am not one to share my feelings so openly and be so honest and to be able to share this with other women who are going through this or have gone through this helps me realize that it is not just us. So as we (and others) are going through this time in our/their lives please pray that we'll have strength and guidance throughout this process and trust that God has his plan for us. Thanks.

3 comments:

Nicole said...

Hey Kasey,

I really am not sure what the right thing to say is, but that I'm praying for you and thinking of you and Mike. I can't imagine how hard this is for you guys. Hard and frustrating and faith testing.

I just wanted to say "hooray" for your honesty and openness on your blog. What a great post, and I really wanted to just comment and show my support. You are so right, God does have a plan for you, and I hope that this plan starts to come together for you guys soon.

Russ, Katie and Eliot said...

Second of all,...I love Kasey Laughlin!!

Heather S. said...

Thanks, Kasey, for your openness and honesty! Please know that I will pray for you and Mike!