Monday, September 29, 2008

Dogs vs. Cats

Thought this was hilarious! :) Are you a dog person or cat person??

  • Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing! 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favourite thing! 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favourite thing! 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing! 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favourite thing! 6:00 PM - Oooh, Bath . Bummer. 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favourite thing! 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing! 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
  • Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary. ..
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................

3 comments:

Nicole said...

OMG Kasey that is freaking hilarious! I'm totally a dog person... they're so appreciative while cats are... snobby.

Amanda said...

Dog person!!!! I can't stand cats. (plus I'm allergic them)

Mandy, Dustin and Thomas said...

Dog person, I hate cats. Very cute!