Friday, October 19, 2007

Long time coming....

I've been dreading sharing this information over my blog....I don't even know really where to begin or how much info. to share, but I do know some of you wanted to hear about whats been going on.... This has been a 4.5 year process and it is hard to share without getting emotional or knowing exactly how to put it in words....but I'll try.
Mike and I were married almost 5 years ago. We knew from the start that we wanted children and about 6-8 months into our marriage I went off the pill. I thought it would be "easy" for us to get pregnant. My mom has 10 brothers and sisters and all of my cousins who were around our age, would seriously get pregnant just saying the word baby, or looking at someone who was pregnant, or drinking water. :) Us....well, let's just say it is almost 4.5 years later from our conversations when we were first married. After awhile, I chose not to think about it. I didn't know why it was taking so long or what we were doing "wrong", but me not thinking about it just seemed to help. About a year ago, I started seeing a fertility specialist. I started tracking my cycles and figuring out when the "best time" for us to try was. A year later...I'm still tracking. It doesn't help that most of our friends, family, and co workers have all had babies and they haven't been trying as long as we have. I also know for some of our friends they started the adoption process and have beautiful babies now..... I am genuinely excited for our friends who are pregnant, but it still hurts, you know? I have ALWAYS dreamed of being a mom, and I know I will be, I just want it sooner rather than later.
Okay...back to the doctor. I had blood work done, laproscopic surgery to remove endometriosis right before school started. They found some, not alot though, around my ovaries and uterus. They removed that and did a D&C and a hysterography (or something like that). Most women who have the D&C, I thought get pregnant that next month. Well...its been 3 months since then and we still aren't. I don't want this to sound like a pity party....I just want to figure out whats wrong. This past week I had to have a colonoscopy because they did find some endometriosis around my colon. There was a lot more then they thought and they didn't know if it was just around my colon or actually inside, hence the colonoscopy to see. Let's just say I NEVER want to go through with that again. The actual procedure was fine....but the night before was the WORSE thing I've ever done. WORSE than my 9 surgeries, WORSE than any hangover.....I had to drink this chalky mixture, 64 ozs total....8 ozs every 10 minutes. I wanted to vomit. Gross!!! Anyway, he said everything looked okay, which is the good news. He sent some stuff away for biopsies just in case. I feel like I am back at square one. My original doctor who did the laproscopic thought I would have to have surgery to remove the endometriosis around my colon, which is a 6 week recovery time. So my next step, I think, is to see another Ob/Gyn to get his/her opininon. I think I am going to try and schedule one today and get a second opinion and see what they think our next step should be.
So...that's where we are now. This was probably WAY too much information for some of you and I apologize for that :) Thank you for listening to me ramble on and get these thoughts out of my head! ;)


Dan and Amanda said...

We love you Kasey!!!

-Indy Laughlin's

heather said...

We're always praying for you guys Kasey, and I know you'll be the most amazing mom someday.

You know the Lord has THE perfect child for you all lined up in his plan and it will happen in whatever way is best for you and Mike at exactly the right time. I know it must be a frustrating and anxious place to be; waiting for that to all come about, and not being sure of how that will happen yet, but I know without a doubt that you guys will be a bigger, wonderful family someday soon.

I hope it helps a little to share a little of this stuff here with the blog world... everyone is only here to encourage you! And I hope you really know that you can always call me anytime you need to vent any of your frustrations, worries, impatience or tears.
And then the next thing you know, you'll be calling me to tell me you found out that you'll be bringing a brand new little miracle into your home!

We love you!

Ferris Family said...

Kasey, thank you for the courage to share that. It is so frusterating to want a baby and then have to wait and wait for one to come... You will be in our thoughts and prayers. I hope you find a doctor that can help all of your dreams come true!

LeeAnn | {froggyleggs} said...

Kasey, thanks for sharing this with us. It will go better with more support and prayers from everyone. Keep us posted on how things go for you and I'll put you in my prayers and be thinking of you!

Christy said...

Thanks for your words of comfort on my blog. I know that endo isn't easy-- and while at your news is discouraging- I believe somehow- God has a plan! Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers as the roller coaster ride continues. Feel free to email me- I would love to talk about this.

Katie said...

I can safely say that there's a reason for it all. I know that doesn't take the pain away or the longing to subside but I promise the end result will be worth the journey.

Praying for you, friend!

Swartzie said...

My prayers are with you girl!I have had to make my patients do the bowel prep before, and I know they don't like me very much after they start it, so I know how incomfortable it can be :(

You are one tough cookie! You'll pull through! I'll be keeping you in my prayers!

The Malones said...

Kase, just to reiterate what everyone else has been saying: you are amazing and soon, a little one will know that too! We will keep praying for you! We love you guys soooo much!